The Self Builder’s blog

Observing planning permission conditions is the name and doing it with ruthless efficiency is the game.  One I’m clearly rubbish at. Well that’s not actually true, I think my game is pretty good and I’m well on top of things.           

This however isn’t a one-way process.  You have to talk to those pesky folk at the planning office.  Man I’m going to miss those bad boys when this is all done.  After all they do make me feel really good about myself, even if frustration to the point of virtual explosion is a side effect. 

The latest conditions I’ve looked to satisfy concern the actual building materials to be used.  I think this is actually a sound restriction. After all, if I was left to my own devices, who knows, I might actually build my gaff out of breeze blocks, or should that be thermalites.

Mind you there isn’t a lot stopping me painting these materials any colour I want afterwards.  Anyway, I have to choose bricks and roof tiles that the planners are also happy with. 

I’ve spent a lot of time looking at all sorts of bricks, observing roof tiles and roof constructions around the area.  My research even included trying to use local-ish suppliers, just in case that was going to be an issue. 

So after what seemed like months of research, I got a couple of samples, being careful not to register with building merchants as I know that can mean trouble when trying to get reductions, especially off bricks. 

Now the minor incompetence at the planning office, which meant wasting ten minutes or so of my life, looking for a form that didn’t exist was a minor annoyance, but certainly not unexpected. 

I chased twice and waited three weeks in the end, but eventually I got the call.  Firstly the planned asked what colour the roof tiles were, I though that was fairly obvious by looking at them and my circling of the colour in the brochure, but no bother.  Approval granted.  Letter of confirmation duly received via 2^nd class post. 

All that’s left to do now is the very simple matter of getting the best possible price and supply!

One of my more recent escapades, or lesson learnt, has been the rules regarding the discrimination of the disabled.  More specifically access to, and inside, buildings.

Apparently the rules that I remember coming in a couple of years ago, and do I remember them, now apply to all new build projects as well as existing commercial properties.  So therefore I must* adhere to them.

No matter you might think, a level approach was already planned, but I hadn’t considered that Dr Stephen Hawkins may want to use my downstairs w/c.  I also need to ensure that my electrics, and more specifically my switches, are in places accessible by Jimmy Crankie, regardless of appearance. 

I have two problems with this, well probably more but I haven’t got all day, the first is simple.  It’s my house and I will be living there.  I can’t help but feel that to act in a non- discriminate manner in this context; I am being very much discriminated against myself.

The second and more practical point is that my access, particularly once inside, isn’t suitable for wheelchair use.  However they do not contravene the regulations.

I know I said two, but thirdly; the ever-so-helpful-buildings-inspector advised me that I can change it around once it has been satisfactorily inspected and passed during the building stage. What?  This really makes no sense at all.

*I’m off to check what actually happens if I put my karsey where I want, and have plug sockets nearer the ground than the light switches. 

Now an absolute necessity for any new building project.  The predicted (nice word for guessed) insulation properties of, er, properties need to be submitted for our friends at planning control.

Apparently this entails a very clever person, armed with a scientific calculator and the ‘who’s who of U-Values’, to provide energy consumption figures or an environmental impact rating.

Unfortunately my very clever person also happens to be very popular.  So much so, that’s all building control are now waiting for from me and my architect. 

Not to worry thought, he’s actually just provided the calcs, and his invoice (must be a much easier calculation). Sadly I’m not sure he used my drawings, as he has assumed that I’m going to install a gas fired boiler, easy mistake to make if you ignore the oil fired one on the drawing.

Too late for me, but these fellows seem a little more clued up.  I just hope my back-of-a-fag-packet expert won’t be too long with the official guess.

Warranty smarantee, I never buy the ones from Currys so do I really need to get one for my new gaff?  Depends who you ask, and on your circumstances, but most probably, yes. 

Then there’s a route to choose.  Basically NHBC, or one, of what seem many, alternatives.  Personally I’m going to get an architects certificate, or more accurately, a professional consultant’s certificate approved by the Counsel of Mortgage Lenders, completed by an architect.   

This means an appointed architect will act much as a buildings inspector, checking all the crucial stages of the build are completed satisfactory.  Except in his case he issues a certificate, that gives some structural warranty and helps quell the mortgage lenders nerves. 

I’m hoping I’ll be with the vast majority that get the certification as a formality. A t-crosser for any future financing needs of my own or any other future occupier.

Having bought land or plot with existing planning permission I thought I was on to a winner, or at least a good each-way bet.  However what I didn’t envisage is that the world of minor amendments is a very murky and troublesome one.  It started with me thinking that a three-storey develop was overkill on this plot, and, for my needs.  I was also mindful that it would be the only property of this type in the village, sorry, make that hamlet.  My appointed architect confidently predicted that the changes I was proposing would be accepted as a minor amendment, no bother.  How wrong a ‘professional’ can be, and to be honest it cost him money as well as my time.    Being new to this game, I trusted and therefore decided to leave my appointed drawing scribbler to it.  His handling meant he had two sets of drawings, created and rejected.  The second set after accepting written feedback from the particular planner in question and even communication by phone.  The second rejection astounded me and the architect, his idea was to create a third set of drawings for appraisal, mine was very different.  I decided to find the bull and give its horns a tug.  Planners are actually very receptive to meetings and chats about developments, as well they should be, but officially I don’t believe they are obligated.

 I set a meeting up with the planner, to discuss conditions attached to the original application and possible minor amendments.  After a good half-hour chat about amendments, the planner saying things like ‘I like that’ and ‘I don’t like that’ in what would pass as a sound Graham Taylor impression. I got the feeling he still wasn’t getting the drift of the meeting.  So I asked outright if he would pass what we were discussing as a minor amendment, the reply, ‘I’m not sure’.  Clear as my building plot’s sod then.  So in a very quick chat, I was blunt, but honest, and said I didn’t need or want the third storey, and could I therefore take out, the expensively designed dormer windows?  ‘Yes’ was the stuttered reply. 

You’ve guessed it; the third set of drawings were still rejected as a minor amendment. My powers of persuasion and one final tweak saved the day. The tweak being the height of the house was lower and he wanted it put back.  I said I thought that the reduced height would be favourable, as a condition of the planning approval seemed to hint at the overall height of the development being crucial.  Not so, I was told, and still struggle to understand, that a reduced pitch on the roof would make the house appear more intrusive on my new neighbours.  I saved myself the bother of a heated debate, and settled on putting my neighbours into shadow, by about a metre worth of house more than is necessary.

I was disappointed not to get the minor approval on gold leaf, but that red ink stamp was definitely worth its weight in the shiny stuff, if not being worth the actual wait. 

And I pose that question in all seriousness.  Nightmare scenarios with the collective red-tape gang, the straight answer isn’t our forte, building fraternity and the group that own really smart calculators who keep telling me I’ve got no money.  This all adds to me losing valued dream time, usually including members of Girls Aloud , to much less enjoyable nightmares, most recently about getting the DPC level wrong and having to tear the whole thing down, with only enough money left for excavating my cave. 

I know I’m not on my own, I can’t be.  As a first-time-home-builder I was totally seduced by the idea of having my design  unfold before my very eyes for a happy every after.  This of course is still what keeps the project alive, well that, and the fact that all I own for subsistence is a muddy trapezium of land, albeit with a recently and smartly trimmed hedge.  The illusion of having what you want, when you want it, at a price you can afford that bestows you instant equity, is, exactly that.  I’m sure there are many that have built an ideal home at an ideal pace and price, but sadly, I’m in the everything is a palaver brigade. 

“It will be worth it in the end.” Well yes, I still hold that belief dear to my heart, but it’s seeing the light at the end of the well excavated, inspected and approved tunnel, that’s breeding doubt and concern.   Despite, what I would consider fairly extensive reading, couple with a circle of family and friends that includes tradesmen, quantity surveyors, project managers and even those that have already built their own home, I never imagined I would have to be a mind-reading-billionaire to bring my modest project to life.  My plan was to get my son’s drawing off the fridge door, which detail even includes the pets we shall be requiring, and hand it to someone, anyone, to quote, build and hand me the keys on a sunny day before said son has actually left home.  Naïve a tad, but isn’t that what dreams are? 

Research, research, research and even then, don’t trust that you know a particular subject inside out.  This world is always moving, and while you’re in control, perhaps realising at an early stage that compromise and negotiation skills will be essential for even getting close to your original dream design.  Get yourself a Homebuilder’s Bible , that title is correct and Mark Brinkley  should be worshiped, well to the tune of tenner or so anyway.  Find people you can trust and those in the same vessel.  Some of the homebuilding magazines run good forums, or provide links to the best populated sites. 

 Anyway I’m off to send grand opening invitations to Nadine, Sarah, Kimberley, Nicola and Cheryl.  Now that’s what I should be dreaming about.